Our writing unit has been really fun! This writing piece has been one of my very first more adventurous and mystical stories. Usually they are more kiddy mermaid type. But not this time. This is about a girl who's family is magical but she is not. They live in Hope but she lives on Earth. The Governor has trapped them, except for her. Wanna know what scary adventures she goes on to save her family? If
you do you should read this story now!
Somethings that I did well in this story is:
- adding lots of detail
- dialogue/ internal dialogue
- the adventure.
Somethings I could improve on are:
- make it seem a bit more exciting
- first few paragraphs to make them a bit more interesting
- a few missing verbs.
I don't know if it is like this for you, but your story is not complete! For me it just ends with Bill and Selena talking and then just a blank page. Also I can't see any pictures.
ReplyDeleteBut from what I have seen so far it is looking good!
I think that you did a really good job writing this! I liked to see how creative you can actually be! I liked your characters too! I'm aunt Alexa! Thanks by the way! Yea I agree with Meaghan. Did you put pictures? Because all I can see is a blank page. But anyways, great job!
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